Is My Wife Selfish?

Alright you know the routine; our children have way more activities compared to when we were their age. My son right now is playing Flag football and started Basketball practices. My daughter is playing Soccer and has also started Basketball practices. The Games are on the weekend, which is no problem since we are both home and we can drive them separately to the games. But during the week I don’t get home from work in time to help get them to practices.

Yesterday we experienced something that will not occur regularly. My son’s football practice started at 5:30. The field is about 20 minutes from our home and our daughter’s basketball practice started at 5:50. To go from the football field to the gym where my daughters practice is being held will take 25 min. Do the math. She will be late for basketball practice.

Also, my wife also is trying to get dinner going.

I arrive at home at 6:00 and the plan is to go pick my son up at 6:30 and dash back to get my daughter at 7:15. But a huge rainstorm blows into town and cuts my sons practice short. Our friend who coaches the team takes him to his house.

No problem, right? Except the rain has caused flooding on the streets and highways that I need to take to get me to their house. I am not going to make to the gym by 7:15 to get my daughter.

This is where my problem starts.

I call my wife to tell her I won’t be able make it to the gym in time. She stresses that she is in the middle of making dinner and the running around is taking its toll on her. She starts yelling through the phone that she wants the kids to start cutting things out of their schedule.

Now from the beginning of their extracurricular careers I have stressed 3 things.
1. They like the activity and want to do it.
2. It does not interfere with their school work. Home work gets done and they have time for studying.
3. We can afford the cost for the activity.

That’s it. I would do whatever is needed to get them to their activities. This is a year round issue because, other sports come into play in different seasons, baseball, and softball, swimming and cheerleading. Because of these activities some things will suffer, like my own hobbies, social life and of course the upkeep of our own home.

When I get home my wife was not happy. She states that she hates football and doesn’t enjoy driving 20 minutes to take him to practice. She wants him to quit. So I go and open my big mouth and tell her I think she is being selfish. She is only thinking about herself and not caring about her children.

Well she blew her top, telling me how I dare call her selfish when all she does is care about her children. Then she proceeded to tell me how much our house is being neglected because we are never home on the weekends to get anything done. While this is true, I rather have my children being involved in activities, making friends and gaining some self esteem then staying at home because I am mowing the lawn or painting a room.

After apologizing for my choice of words, I still felt the issue was about her. Of course my words were hurtful and I regret saying them. Also I promised I would try my best get things done around the house when we are not driving around town.

Here are my questions.

Is she only thinking of herself because she doesn’t like to drive and be in the car that long? Should we cut activities out? How would you handle the upkeep of your home if you are running around all weekend?

Let us know what you think.